{"id":78,"date":"2020-03-21T21:07:43","date_gmt":"2020-03-21T21:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/?p=78"},"modified":"2020-03-31T20:06:39","modified_gmt":"2020-03-31T20:06:39","slug":"billy-blands-improbable-future-ghost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/billy-blands-improbable-future-ghost\/","title":{"rendered":"Billy Bland\u2019s Improbable Future Ghost"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I woke up on a recent morning with the title in my mind but no idea for a story. But later this morning I sat down and wrote the whole thing in less than half an hour. And the next day I re-wrote it. And a few days later I re-wrote it again. It&#8217;s my first ever attempt at a children&#8217;s book, and I have no idea if it&#8217;s any good or not. I hope others will read this and critique it.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Billy Bland\u2019s Improbable Future Ghost<\/p>\n<p>By Alec Clayton<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Billy Bland was blithely walking to school one bright and sunny morning when he ran into a ghost. Well really, he didn\u2019t run into it, but there it was right in his path, floating in the air like a leaf in the breeze. But it wasn\u2019t breezy.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, who are you? And why do you look just like me? And why are you floating there in the air like a leaf in the breeze when there\u2019s not even a hint of a breeze? Billy Bland asked the ghost.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m your improbable future ghost. I\u2019m you long after you are no longer alive. Far, far, far away in the future. And I\u2019m floating in the air like a leaf in the breeze because that\u2019s what ghosts do.<\/p>\n<p>Oh. But it\u2019s not the future. It\u2019s now, and I\u2019m still alive. I\u2019m not even grown up yet, Billy Bland said as he continued walking along the sidewalk headed to school.<\/p>\n<p>If ghosts can pass through walls, surely they can pass through time, Billy Bland\u2019s improbable future ghost said, continuing to float in the air like a leaf in the breeze while the school bus drove past and Billy Bland\u2019s friend Johnny Jumpup rode by on his bicycle.<\/p>\n<p>Why are you here? Billy Bland asked his improbable future ghost.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m here to keep you from making terrible horrible mistakes with terrible horrible consequences, his improbable future ghost said. Like I know Johnny Jumpup is going to ask you to race him to school. You most definitely should not do that. If you do that, it will be a terrible horrible mistake.<\/p>\n<p>How do you know? Billy Bland asked.<\/p>\n<p>Because I\u2019m from the future. I know what happens. You will be so intent on racing that you won\u2019t see the car turning that corner up ahead, and he will run into you and hurt you, and you will be in the hospital for six days and you\u2019ll have to use crutches for walking for a long, long time after that, his improbably future ghost answered.<\/p>\n<p>So Billy Bland told Johnny Jumpup I can\u2019t race you, and you better be extra special careful or you will get hurt.<\/p>\n<p>And no sooner had Billy Bland said that did a car turn the corner too fast and almost hit Johnny Jumpup, who stopped just in time because he was being extra special careful.<\/p>\n<p>Whew! That was really, really lucky, said Billy Bland, rushing up to where Johnny Jumpup was standing still by his bicycle.<\/p>\n<p>It wasn\u2019t lucky, his improbable future ghost said. It was because you told him to be extra special careful.<\/p>\n<p>Gosh, you\u2019re right, Billy said. I guess you saved him.<\/p>\n<p>Johnny Jumpup, jumping back on his bicycle, said, Who are you talking to?<\/p>\n<p>Billy said, My improbable future ghost.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s nobody here, Johnny Jumpup said, and took off pedaling his bicycle as fast as he could.<\/p>\n<p>Billy\u2019s improbable future ghost said, He can\u2019t see me or hear me. Only you can see me and hear me.<\/p>\n<p>Wow! Billy said.<\/p>\n<p>In school, he asked Sullen Sally Spike, Do you have an improbable future ghost?<\/p>\n<p>What? You must be crazy, Sullen Sally Spike said, and she stuck out her tongue at him.<\/p>\n<p>Do you have an improbable future ghost? Billy asked Michael McMichels.<\/p>\n<p>Shhhhsh, Michael McMichels said, and Billy Bland\u2019s improbable future ghost said, Remember, only you can see me, and only you can hear me.<\/p>\n<p>So Billy raised his hand to ask the teacher, Miss Burgerbumbler, a question.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, Billy Bland. What is it? Miss Burgerbumbler asked.<\/p>\n<p>I have an improbable future ghost that only I can see and only I can hear. Do other people have improbable future ghosts, Billy asked.<\/p>\n<p>I think that would be highly improbable, Miss Burgerbumbler said. Now quit asking silly, stupid impertinent questions.<\/p>\n<p>After school was out and Billy Bland was walking home with his improbable future ghost floating along just over his left shoulder, his ghost said, Tomorrow morning Johnny Jumpup is going to ask you to play hooky with him. Whatever you do, please don\u2019t play hooky with him. It will be a terrible horrible mistake that will have terrible horrible consequences in the future.<\/p>\n<p>Sure enough, when he was walking to school the next morning, Johnny Jumpup pulled up next to him on his bicycle and said Hello, Billy Bland.<\/p>\n<p>Hello, Johnny Jumpup, Billy Bland said.<\/p>\n<p>And then Johnny Jumpup said Let\u2019s not go to school today. Let\u2019s play hooky and go to the mall and eat lots of candy and go to the movie and eat lots of popcorn.<\/p>\n<p>I can\u2019t do that, Billy Bland said. My improbable future ghost said if I go with you now it will be a terrible horrible mistake with terrible horrible consequences, and you and I will grow up to be terrible horrible grownups who do terrible horrible things and get in a lot of trouble.<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t have an improbable future ghost, Johnny Jumpup said. There\u2019s no such thing.<\/p>\n<p>Is too, Billy Bland said, sounding very put-upon. He\u2019s right here with us floating in the air like a leaf in the breeze.<\/p>\n<p>But Billy Bland\u2019s improbable future ghost said He can\u2019t see me and he can\u2019t hear me. Only you can see me and hear me. Remember? So you have to convince Johnny Jumpup that playing hooky is not a good thing to do.<\/p>\n<p>How can I do that? Billy Bland asked.<\/p>\n<p>And Johnny Jumpup said, Who are you talking to?<\/p>\n<p>Nobody, Billy Bland said, because he knew Johnny Jumpup would not believe him if he said he was talking to his improbable future ghost. And then he said. We can\u2019t skip school because if we do we will grow up to be terrible horrible grownups who do terrible horrible things, and we will get in a lot of trouble. Besides, I don\u2019t want to skip school. I like school. We get to see all our friends and learn a lot of good stuff.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re right, Johnny Jumpup said. I\u2019ll race you to school. And he started riding his bicycle as fast as he could, and Billy Bland started running as fast as he could, and they both got to school just before the first bell rang, and Billy Bland\u2019s improbable future ghost disappeared and went back to the future because Billy Bland didn\u2019t need him anymore.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I woke up on a recent morning with the title in my mind but no idea for a story. But later this morning I sat down and wrote the whole thing in less than half an hour. And the next day I re-wrote it. And a few days later I re-wrote it again. It&#8217;s my &#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more-container\"><a title=\"Billy Bland\u2019s Improbable Future Ghost\" class=\"read-more button\" href=\"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/billy-blands-improbable-future-ghost\/#more-78\" aria-label=\"Read more about Billy Bland\u2019s Improbable Future Ghost\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-78","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Billy Bland\u2019s Improbable Future Ghost - Alec Clayton - Writing etc.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/billy-blands-improbable-future-ghost\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Billy Bland\u2019s Improbable Future Ghost - Alec Clayton - Writing etc.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I woke up on a recent morning with the title in my mind but no idea for a story. 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I write for OLY ARTS (Olympia). My novels, published with Mud Flat Press, are: \\\"Teacher; This is Me, Debbi, David;\\\" \\\"Tupelo;\\\" The Freedom Trilogy (a three-book series consisting of \\\"The Backside of Nowhere,\\\" \\\"Return to Freedom\\\" and \\\"Visual Liberties\\\"); \\\"Reunion at the Wetside;\\\" \\\"The Wives of Marty Winters;\\\" \\\"Imprudent Zeal;\\\" and \\\"Until the Dawn.\\\" I've also published two books on art, \\\"As If Art Matters\\\" and \\\"What is What the Heck is a Frame-Pedestal Aesthetic? 1960s Revolution in American Art Revisited.\\\" All are available on amazon.com or can be ordered from your local bookstore. 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I write for OLY ARTS (Olympia). My novels, published with Mud Flat Press, are: \"Teacher; This is Me, Debbi, David;\" \"Tupelo;\" The Freedom Trilogy (a three-book series consisting of \"The Backside of Nowhere,\" \"Return to Freedom\" and \"Visual Liberties\"); \"Reunion at the Wetside;\" \"The Wives of Marty Winters;\" \"Imprudent Zeal;\" and \"Until the Dawn.\" I've also published two books on art, \"As If Art Matters\" and \"What is What the Heck is a Frame-Pedestal Aesthetic? 1960s Revolution in American Art Revisited.\" All are available on amazon.com or can be ordered from your local bookstore. I grew up in Tupelo and Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and have been living in the Pacific Northwest since 1988.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.alecclayton.com\/"],"url":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/author\/alecclayton\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":85,"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions\/85"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alecclayton.com\/writingetc\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}